Feel-good Friday tips #2
Things I've come across this week to help us all feel less sh*t
It’s Friday — another week has whizzed by and in London we’ve been melting in 30-degree heat. The sunshine does help on the mornings when all the thoughts and worries and anxieties from the night-time are still there first thing, and can be hard to shake. My brain has been in overdrive, what with one thing and another, and my anxiety has been peaking and troughing on a daily basis, it seems.
Walking helps when I am feeling worried or stressed; I have a local route which is about 5 miles long and takes about an hour and a half. It’s very green: the trees are in full leaf, the birdsong is bananas at the moment, and part of it is along a river, which feels very wellbeing vibes. Plodding along, listening to a book, or enjoying the birdsong, I am able to process my thoughts; I am free. It is a tonic and I always always feel a bit better for the physical (and mental) exertion.
My three Feel-good Friday tips for you this week are:
Book of the week is A Toolkit for Modern Life by Dr Emma Hepburn aka @thepsychologymum on Instagram. This is a great guide to mental wellbeing, by a clinical psychologist, complete with brilliant illustrations by the author. The book offers proven and practical tools to help you cope with common mental health concerns, such as anxiety, stress, overwhelm, worry or dealing with big emotions. The tone is warm and practical, and there are lots of exercises and ideas to help you look after your mind.
I haven’t read the book from cover to cover, rather I’ve dipped in and found useful bits and pieces. One suggestion that’s stayed with me is the idea of the ‘capacity cup’ — this idea that we all have limited emotional capacity and that everything we do takes up space in our cup: different things take up different amounts of space and it can reach the top before we even notice. Stressful things take up a considerable amount of space, daily tasks and chores, less so, but in combination a lot of things can suddenly mean the cup is filling fast. When your cup is full, small things can suddenly feel overwhelming and you might react really strongly to a relatively minor event, like dropping your phone or losing your keys. You may react irrationally, simply because you do not have the emotional capacity to cope in the moment.
Emma suggests drawing a picture your own cup and assessing how full it is, so you can act before it overflows and you are floored. This simple exercise is quite powerful, and I have found it really helpful in managing the load and being aware of when I am reaching capacity. A recommended read for anyone who is struggling — this book is a little ray of light.
Photo by Arthur Parkinson, from Instagram
Follow gardener, author and lover of the land, Arthur Parkinson, on Instagram for flower and garden joy. Arthur is passionate about plants, chickens, gardening and wildlife and I just love his vibrant page, full of colour and beauty. He is a breath of fresh air and happiness, and he brings the natural world to life with his photos and videos.
Quote of the week comes from writer and thinker Sharon Salzberg and is from her book, Lovingkindness: The revolutionary art of happiness:
“… the conflict and frustration we feel when we can’t control the world doesn’t come from our inability to do so but rather from the fact that we are trying to control the uncontrollable’
Are you trying to control something that’s uncontrollable? (Er, guilty…) Maybe it’s time to let go?
I hope these tips are helpful for you, as we all stumble along the meandering path towards happiness. Hang in there.
x