The Humpty Dumpty principle
(or how to put yourself back together again)
I spoke to a friend this week who had, in turn, been speaking to various therapists during the course of her job. The therapists told my friend that they were seeing more cases of burnout and stress than ever before, and that the term being widely used by people to describe how they feel was that they are ‘broken’. Post the trauma of the pandemic, the return to commuting, the constant pressure and stress of work, social media pressures, grief and loss, parenting pressures, divorce, existential worries, the climate crisis or just the world going to sh*t — whatever is causing the stress, it is mounting, and it is breaking us.
It’s a powerful metaphor, this idea of people literally breaking apart from the strain they are under. I imagine men and women, like Humpty Dumpty eggs, on the floor, cracked and splintered — legs akimbo, eyes wide, clutching iPhones, laptops in smithereens beside them, self-help books strewn around the place, the kettle whistling, children crying in the background. Ain’t no king’s horses nor king’s men gonna put this lot back together again any time soon, let alone a sh*t load of therapy.
How do we pick up our pieces? How do we rebuild after stress and trauma? How do we literally and figuratively put ourselves back together? It’s a question that many of us are grappling with — as the pressures of life can get to anyone. Many of my friends tell me they are suffering from poor sleep, exhaustion, overwork, stress and anxiety, alongside an irrational fear that they will never be enough, they will never get on top of it all, and that they feel like failures. These are high-functioning, high flying women, at the top of their game, and yet they are really struggling with the pressured demands of modern life. They may not yet be ‘broken’, but some of them are on their way, and it’s alarming.
How do we pick up our pieces? How do we rebuild after stress and trauma? How do we literally and figuratively put ourselves back together?
I’ve had my own struggles in recent months, but thankfully I did not hit break point, and I’ve managed to patch up the cracks and am now (almost) OK with revealing the repairs and embracing the imperfections, kintsugi-style. What got me through was the incredible support and love from friends and my husband, daily walks in green spaces, reminding myself of the tiny joys in life, and reflecting back on the good times — looking at photos of when I was thriving, mentally putting myself back in spaces where I was happy and succeeding, and also writing — in many forms: notes, affirmations, and yes, this little corner of Substack.
Bring in the metaphorical cavalry
In the absence of king’s horses and king’s men to put us back together again, we need a set of modern principles to help us get back to our true selves.
My substack, The Joy Decision, is a place where I want to bring together all the learning I have done over the years reading, and publishing, many books in the mental health, self-help and personal development arena, and exploring and testing ideas and practices myself, as well as listening to hundreds of podcasts by experts, doctors and writers in this space.
I want to share the principles I’ve learned around happiness, purpose, values, overcoming hard times and more to help you discover joy, learn techniques and try ideas that might help, and also help you find inspiration that speaks to you. My weekly newsletter comes out (almost) every Friday and is called Feel-good Friday tips. If you subscribe to my newsletter, you’ll get it delivered straight to your inbox and discover tips like this.
In the absence of king’s horses and king’s men to put us back together again, we need a set of modern principles to help us get back to our true selves.
In an ideal world we would all thrive all the time. But while that’s not possible, I’d love to give you a few tips to help mind, body and soul — in a curious, light-hearted and joyous way. I am no medical expert, but I love sharing interesting, helpful and practical things that might just help you stay a few cracks away from ‘broken’. Do join me along the way and share and subscribe if you can.
Stay well —
Lizx